It ain't what you do...

A few weeks ago, my girlfriend encountered Sue Pollard outside Sainsbury's and pretended to know her. Now she has met the singer Terry Hall on a bus and pretended to know him, too.

'What happened?' I asked.

'Well I was on the bus and I saw him, so I thought, 'why not?''

'Oh yeah, why not,' I repeated.

'So I just went up to him. He's quite attractive'.

'Is he? What did you say?'

'All I said was, 'hello, Terry'...'

'And?'

'Well you know, he said hello, and then I told him that his music meant quite a lot to me when I was growing up.'

'Yes,' I said, 'they usually love it when you remind them how much you used to like them.'

'Then he got off, but it was our stop too, so we got off as well. We had a chat by the bus stop. I said, 'my daughter's seen you play four times'.'

'They especially like it when they hear that they've entertained generations of the same family...'

'Oh shut up, you idiot,' she said. 'He was very nice. And he had a nice suit on. We said goodbye and he just went off.'

'So are you going to carry on with this, going up to famous people?'

'Yes,' she said.